Lust For Life

I think I acted way too prematurely. Pegging you as boyfriend material. What was I thinking? So, to no one's surpirse, the guy - which now that I think about it, I can barely remember what he looked like besides dark hair, beautiful blue eyes, beard and hairy legs. That should have been a warning sign that he wasn't worth my time if I couldn't remember what his face looked like. No, I was not drunk. I wasn't even buzzed when I met him.- from last friday (no, not that creature from the black lagoon from two friday's ago) didn't return my text. I should have seen this coming but I put my blinders on and thought he was different. My mistake. I felt bad for an hour, and then realized that this is only September. Friday is only around the corner..............

Word of advice: Never give a guy a half hearted blow job.....he won't call you back

Don't Be Like Me

A wise gay man said that being a ho until you found the right one was acceptable. I used to believe that. But now, at the ripe old age of 22 and two one nighters, I have to say that I am over it. After that travesty last night I gotta admit, I am over the whole random hookup. I just cringed a little typing that. Who would have thought that me, the little salad hater who had her first dance with a guy at 21 would be like this. Time for a quick trip through memory lane. I remember my first date, riding through South Austin with Irving Lee in his bad ass Infiniti , talking about sex with random partners and how neither one of us would ever do anything like that. I look back on the memory and barely recognize that 20 year old girl who said such things.

What am I trying to say is, I really don't like the person I've become. I don't know what happened in the last 12 hours of my life, but I know I don't want to experience something like that for a while, or ever again. I just feel like I am being judged, no slut shammed--again with the cringing-- by my roommate. It's like the way she's always taking about going over to XYZ's house but not having sex with them, just "cuddling". I guess she think's "I'm that kind of girl."

I'm sick of the randoms and just want a fucking boyfriend. Why is it so hard?!

A New Low

It is 7:52 on a Saturday morning and I am researching planned parenthoods to go get checked. I think I'll just go to my clinic and get checked there. I will be on high alert until Monday. What the fuck was I thinking last night? I wake up to find some curly headed art major with a shitty pedostache laying on top of my white pillows. We have two issues, he is ugly as fuck, and he is laying on my white pillows. Can you guess which one I am more upset with?

After only 2 drinks and two shots, I end up with bent up bangles, a huge knot on the back of my head, and some random loser who may or may not be a friend of Dorthy Ann's if you get my drift. My head is a mess, and I feel terrible for poor Candice who had to witness the aftermath of this mess. I have two questions: One, how did I meet this loser. All I can remember is the shitty cupid shuffle and then falling into my friend's car. Two, why did no one tell me this guy looked like a trans man?

I need to clean everything, like ASAP because that is how violated I feel at the moment. I am also a little dizzy which could be from the knot on my head or the alcohol leaving my system. All I know is I really want some chicken nuggets. To make matters worse, I told Candice that I think that our roommate has an eating disorder. I truly hate myself. Oh, did I mention I am do to tear up the streets of Austin tonight? Or that I am do to go to a football game in a few hours, or that I have to attend a dinner?

If I had the means to do so I would throw up right now, but I can't. My punishment is in the form of sitting with a liquored belly and heavy conscience. I cannot believe the way I acted--the bit I remember by the way. I want to know how I ended up with this giant knot on my head. Did I mention I busted into my roommates room with no pants on? I seriously thought the girl was dead. Fuck! It is only September, this shit is embarrassing. When did I become such a ho? I seriously want to dunk myself in a vat of purell.

Enough buzzed blogging, I'm off to do something constructive....like take a rape shower.

No More Coffee For You Guys

"Why would she make that much coffee for herself?"

That's what I heard my roommate tell my other roommate a few seconds ago. I want to shout, "I made it for the whole house, you assholes!" Or, "I'm in the next room, my door is open, why don't you just ask me?" I really don't want to confront them about it, because I am pissed off by the tone of voice they said it in. And when I think I am being attacked, I will attack back.

They must think I am stupid or something, I know how much coffee I drink. I figured since everyone in the goddamn house drinks coffee it would be wise to just make a 4 cups instead of 1 cup.

Fuck that noise. I'm taking my bowls back. The next time I make coffee, it'll be for me and me only. Last time I do these bitches a favor.

Did he see my labia?

My roommate's boyfriend picked me up and put me to bed...well they think I am in bed.

I didn't know I was that easy to pick up...I hope he didn't see my coochie.