After only 2 drinks and two shots, I end up with bent up bangles, a huge knot on the back of my head, and some random loser who may or may not be a friend of Dorthy Ann's if you get my drift. My head is a mess, and I feel terrible for poor Candice who had to witness the aftermath of this mess. I have two questions: One, how did I meet this loser. All I can remember is the shitty cupid shuffle and then falling into my friend's car. Two, why did no one tell me this guy looked like a trans man?
I need to clean everything, like ASAP because that is how violated I feel at the moment. I am also a little dizzy which could be from the knot on my head or the alcohol leaving my system. All I know is I really want some chicken nuggets. To make matters worse, I told Candice that I think that our roommate has an eating disorder. I truly hate myself. Oh, did I mention I am do to tear up the streets of Austin tonight? Or that I am do to go to a football game in a few hours, or that I have to attend a dinner?
If I had the means to do so I would throw up right now, but I can't. My punishment is in the form of sitting with a liquored belly and heavy conscience. I cannot believe the way I acted--the bit I remember by the way. I want to know how I ended up with this giant knot on my head. Did I mention I busted into my roommates room with no pants on? I seriously thought the girl was dead. Fuck! It is only September, this shit is embarrassing. When did I become such a ho? I seriously want to dunk myself in a vat of purell.
Enough buzzed blogging, I'm off to do something constructive....like take a rape shower.
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